Putting Yourself First

It's hard to think about how to put yourself first.  It actually took me a long time to understand how to completely do it.  Not so long ago, I wrote a blog post about how to be unapologetically yourself and I felt like in that post, I was able to get a lot of off of my chest.  It felt amazing, cathartic actually.  This, I guess you could say, is the second installment to that certain blog post.

You might be thinking, "Brit, why are you writing this?"  Well the answer is very simple.  I think there's a lot to be said about evolving as a person.  Being able to be yourself is a huge accomplishment but with that comes so many other things.  Putting yourself first is probably the most important of those things. 

Putting yourself first doesn't just refer to one part of your life.  That's probably what I want people to know most.  Putting yourself first doesn't just mean in your relationship.  Putting yourself first means in every aspect of your life.  If you are unable to make decisions for yourself because you fall victim to influences around you, you aren't putting yourself first and you're going to suffer because of it.  

Of course this doesn't mean make the people around you suffer, it means a lot more than that.  Being able to put yourself first means having respect for yourself. Respect is so very important.  You may not realize it but every time you make a decision in YOUR life but base it on SOMEONE else, you're devaluing yourself!  Stand up for yourself and live life for you.  No one else is going to live your life for you because guess what? They're out there busy living their own life.

If you're caught in the sticky part of a relationship where decisions have to be made, think about yourself first.  Are you benefiting in this relationship?  Are you happy?  Are you wasting your time?  Do you spend most of your time UNhappy?  Are you doing TOO much for them and not getting respected in return?  Evaluate the circumstances and if you aren't getting the most out of it, put yourself first and act on it.  Life is too precious and too short to become someones doormat.  Think about the time and energy you can be putting into yourself or a new relationship.

And like I said before, I don't just mean a romantic relationship.  Most times, friendships can ruin our lives.  Sometimes they are worth fighting for and sometimes they aren't, that's okay.  This goes back to when we were young and our parents, teachers, elders, counselors were encouraging us not to become a victim of peer pressure.  Think about it, even though we're in our 20's now, it's the same thing.  Twenty year old PEER PRESSURE.  Actually sick if you think about it.  We are too afraid to move on and meet new people, so we stay in the status quo.  This is what is ruining our positive outlook on life.

I've always been taught to be the strongest individual that I could possibly be.  I was raised by my father who obviously treated me like his little girl all through life and still does to this day, I am 26 years old.  That wont end anytime soon.  I grew up without the influence of a mother and without a motherly figure in my life and I think that's most likely why I don't have the strongest emotional reactions to situations.  All of these characteristics shape you into the person you're going to eventually become.  

But if there's one thing I know it's that I have been able to make decisions for myself all of my life.  There was most definitely time in my life where I was putting waaaaay too many people ahead of myself and that's going to happen.  But knowing that I grew up with a strong enough foundation to know that decisions in life that are worth it need to be made by putting myself first, is what makes it all worth while. 

Do you find it hard to make decisions for yourself or put yourself first?  Let me know how you get around it and how you overcome it.  Send me a tweet or leave a comment below.  -Brit.

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